指導別人學習
指導別人學習讓他學會一件事物,或是得到別人的指導而自己學會一件事物,都是很好的經驗。請根據你過去幫助別人學習,或得到別人的指導而學會某件事的經驗,寫一篇至少120個單詞的英文作文。文分兩段,第一段說明該次經驗的緣由、內容和過程,第二段說明你對該次經驗的感想。
載入中…
這一題的頂標範文與寫作技巧建議先自己寫完、送出批改,再打開對照。打開看範文 ▾收起 ▴
頂標範文與技術分析
這是同一題的頂標等級範文,標色的地方是值得學起來的進階文法句型或用字。
Learning to swim had always been my greatest fear — until my older cousin, Jason, decided to change that. Last summer, noticing how I avoided the pool at every family gathering, he offered to teach me himself. Every morning for two weeks, we headed to the community pool before the summer heat became unbearable. Jason was remarkably patient: he never laughed at my panicked splashing or my desperate grip on the pool's edge. Instead, he broke the process down into small, manageable steps — first floating on my back, then kicking, and finally coordinating my arms and legs into a smooth freestyle stroke. By the end of the second week, I swam the full length of the pool entirely on my own, something I had once thought impossible. That experience taught me lessons that went far beyond swimming. Had Jason simply pushed me into the deep end and told me to figure it out, I would have given up immediately and perhaps feared water for the rest of my life. His gentle guidance showed me that a good teacher does not rush the learner but instead builds confidence through small, achievable victories. I also realized that fear, more often than skill, is what truly holds us back. Whenever I now face a new challenge, I remember that summer morning when I let go of the pool's edge for the first time — and kept swimming.
技巧說明(4)
將原本的副詞子句 'Because he noticed how I avoided the pool…' 改寫為分詞構句,主詞與主要子句相同(he),直接以現在分詞 noticing 開頭。這種寫法能讓句子更緊湊、節奏更流暢,是閱卷老師最容易注意到的進階句型之一。學生只要確認分詞的邏輯主詞與主要子句主詞一致,就可以在「說明原因或背景」時大量套用。
三個動名詞片語(floating / kicking / coordinating)搭配時間副詞 first、then、finally,形成完整的三段式平行結構,用來呈現學習步驟的先後順序。這種句型既能清楚說明過程,又能展現句法的整齊感,非常適合在「描述學習過程」或「列舉步驟」時使用,是評分標準中「句構多樣性」的加分利器。
這是與過去事實相反的假設語氣,標準形式為 'If + 主詞 + had + p.p., 主詞 + would have + p.p.'。此處更進一步將 if 省略、把 had 移至句首,形成「倒裝假設語氣」,是文法程度的重要展現。學生可以套用此句型來對比「若當時換一種做法,結果會截然不同」,讓感想段更有說服力與深度。
'more often than' 是精準且地道的比較說法,插入句中作為插入語(parenthetical),強調「恐懼比能力更常是阻礙」。整個句子同時也是一個強調句結構('is what…',以 what 引導的名詞子句作主詞補語),讓結論更有力。這種「插入語 + 強調句」的組合,能讓感想段的點題句聽起來有深度、有說服力,非常值得學生模仿。
範文由 WriteUp 依學測評分規準產生,供練習參考,不是大考中心公布的佳作。