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這一題的頂標範文與寫作技巧建議先自己寫完、送出批改,再打開對照。打開看範文 ▾收起 ▴
頂標範文與技術分析
這是同一題的頂標等級範文,標色的地方是值得學起來的進階文法句型或用字。
Of the two books recommended for summer reading, the one I would choose is Leadership is a Choice: Conquer Your Fears & You Can Be a Leader Too, written by Austin Young. Judging from its cover, which shows a tiny figure climbing a ladder toward the top of a staircase made of rising blocks, I imagine the book tells inspiring stories of ordinary people who overcame self-doubt and fear of failure to become confident leaders. It is probably filled with practical advice on how anyone, regardless of background, can develop the courage and determination needed to guide others. The reason I prefer this book over Everyone is Beautiful, which focuses on respecting others and embracing one's own identity, is that leadership is a skill I feel I urgently need to improve. As the vice president of my class, I often hesitate to voice my opinions, worrying that I might be criticized. Not only would this book teach me how to conquer such fears, but it would also show me, through real examples, that leadership is not an inborn talent but a choice anyone can make. Therefore, reading it this summer would help me grow into a braver, more capable version of myself.
技巧說明(5)
這是過去分詞構句,用來補充說明前面的名詞(book),完整版應該是 which is written by Austin Young,但把「which is」省略、直接用過去分詞 written 開頭,可以讓句子更精簡流暢,不會顯得累贅。學生在描述書本、文章、物品的作者或來源時,都可以用這種「名詞 + 過去分詞」的結構取代冗長的關係子句,例如:the report, published last year, shows surprising results。這種寫法在看圖寫作或議論文中都很好用,能讓句子看起來更精煉、有層次。
這是非限定關係子句,用 which 補充說明前面提到的 cover(封面),用逗號與主要子句隔開,表示附加資訊而非限制性說明。這種句型的好處是可以在一句話中融入大量細節描述(圖片內容),而不需要拆成好幾個短句,讓文章讀起來更緊湊、有連貫性,也展現句子的複雜度。學生在描述圖片細節時可以仿照:the poster, which displays a group of students smiling, suggests a sense of teamwork。這樣能同時交代主詞的身份與細節,避免流水帳式的簡單句堆疊。
當 Not only 放在句首表示強調時,後面的子句必須採用部分倒裝,也就是助動詞(此處為 would)要提到主詞之前,形成 Not only would this book teach... 的結構,這是學測作文中常見的加分句型之一。相較於平鋪直敘的 This book would teach me... and also show me...,倒裝句能製造語氣上的強調效果,展現句型的多樣性與文法掌握度,是閱卷老師特別青睞的「進階句型」之一。學生可以在強調兩個遞進的理由或好處時套用,例如:Not only did the trip broaden my horizons, but it also taught me how to be independent。
這是「not A but B」的對等結構,用來清楚對比兩個概念,強調後者才是作者真正想傳達的重點,同時也呼應了書名 Leadership is a Choice 的核心主旨,讓文章內容與圖片訊息緊密扣合。這種句型比單純說 leadership is a choice 更有說服力,因為透過否定前項再肯定後項,製造出邏輯上的對比張力,凸顯論點。學生可以廣泛應用在議論文或心得寫作中,例如:Success is not the result of luck but the product of hard work,藉此強化論述的層次感。
這是一個精簡但語意精準的介系詞片語,意思是「不論背景如何」,用來修飾前面的 anyone,表示不分任何條件都適用,比起寫成 no matter what their background is 更簡潔有力,屬於進階字彙的展現。使用這類精煉的片語可以讓句子更緊湊,展現用字的成熟度,是學測作文中區分中等與高分卷的關鍵之一。學生可以將此片語套用在許多情境,例如:Everyone deserves respect, regardless of appearance,用來強調普遍適用、不受限制的概念。
範文由 WriteUp 依學測評分規準產生,供練習參考,不是大考中心公布的佳作。

