維護校園安全
維護校園安全是校園內每個成員的責任,請寫一篇英文作文,說明應該如何維護校園安全。文分兩段,第一段說明校園安全的重要性及校園內可能發生的安全問題;第二段說明身為校園的一份子,你覺得校內成員應該採取哪些作為以維護校園安全。
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這一題的頂標範文與寫作技巧建議先自己寫完、送出批改,再打開對照。打開看範文 ▾收起 ▴
頂標範文與技術分析
這是同一題的頂標等級範文,標色的地方是值得學起來的進階文法句型或用字。
Campus safety is the foundation upon which meaningful learning can take place. Without a secure environment, students are unable to focus on their studies, and teachers cannot teach effectively. Unfortunately, schools are not immune to a variety of safety hazards. Bullying — whether physical or verbal — remains one of the most prevalent issues, leaving victims feeling isolated and afraid. Beyond interpersonal conflicts, poorly maintained facilities, such as broken staircases or slippery floors, pose serious physical risks. In extreme cases, unauthorized outsiders entering campus grounds can even threaten students' lives. These problems make it clear that safeguarding the school environment is not a task that administrators alone can handle. Every member of the campus community must play an active role in creating a safer school. First, students should look out for one another — reporting suspicious behavior or bullying incidents to teachers instead of staying silent. Second, school staff ought to conduct regular safety inspections, promptly repairing any damaged equipment or infrastructure. Third, schools should implement a strict visitor registration system so that no unauthorized individuals can enter without permission. Finally, fostering a culture of mutual respect through workshops and open discussions can prevent conflicts before they arise. Only when administrators, teachers, and students work hand in hand can a truly safe and nurturing campus be achieved.
技巧說明(5)
這裡使用「make it clear that...」結構,其中 it 是虛受詞,真正的受詞是後面的 that 子句。這比直接說「It is clear that...」更有力,因為透過 these problems 作主詞,強調了前一段所有問題的總結,讓論點的轉折更自然有說服力。學生可以套用「make it + 形容詞 + that子句」的句型,例如:This incident makes it obvious that stricter rules are needed.(這件事清楚說明了需要更嚴格的規定。)
這個分詞構句以 leaving 開頭,表示「前一個動作所造成的附帶結果」,用來補充說明 bullying 帶來的影響,讓句子更緊湊,避免寫成兩個短句。學生寫議論文時,描述某問題所造成的後果時,可以用「..., leaving / causing / making + 受詞 + 形容詞/分詞」的模式來豐富句型。
用破折號(em dash)前後夾住補充說明語「whether physical or verbal」,比括號更有強調感,也比插入 which 的關係子句更簡潔有力。學生可以用這個技巧在名詞後面插入簡短的限定或補充說明,讓句子更有層次,閱卷老師也會注意到這種標點符號的靈活運用。
文章在第二段列舉建議措施時,交替使用 should 和 ought to,而非單調地重複同一個詞。ought to 在語氣上與 should 相近,但略帶「道德上本應如此」的份量,用在「學校人員應盡職檢查」這個情境特別恰當。學生在寫建議類作文時,不妨有意識地混用 should、ought to、must、had better 等情態動詞,讓行文不顯單調。
這個句子同時示範了兩個技巧:(1)「Only when + 條件子句」引發的倒裝句(助動詞 can 提到主詞前),語氣鏗鏘有力,適合作為結論句;(2) administrators, teachers, and students 三者並列,形成完整的平行結構,涵蓋所有校園成員,呼應全文主旨。這種「Only when...can...」的倒裝句型是學測作文結尾的強力句式,學生務必熟練。
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