賣場週年慶
請觀察以下有關某家賣場週年慶的新聞報導圖片，並根據圖片內容想像其中發生的一個事件或故事，寫一篇英文作文，文長約120個單詞。文分兩段，第一段描述兩張圖片中所呈現的場景，以及正在發生的狀況或事件；第二段則敘述該事件（或故事）接下來的發展和結果。
載入中…
這一題的頂標範文與寫作技巧建議先自己寫完、送出批改，再打開對照。打開看範文 ▾收起 ▴
頂標範文與技術分析
這是同一題的頂標等級範文，標色的地方是值得學起來的進階文法句型或用字。
It was the first day of the department store's annual anniversary sale, and the moment the glass doors slid open, a long line of eager shoppers, which had been waiting outside since dawn, surged forward at once. Pushing and squeezing past one another, people dashed toward the entrance as if their lives depended on getting inside first. Inside, the scene was even more chaotic. The store was packed with customers crowding around every counter, while salespeople, doing their best to keep up with the crowd, eagerly explained the discounts and promotions to whoever would listen. As the morning wore on, the crowd only grew larger. Shelves that had been fully stocked an hour earlier were quickly emptied, and clerks hurried back and forth to restock popular items before they ran out completely. Not until closing time did the chaos finally die down. Exhausted but satisfied, shoppers left with bags full of bargains, while the staff, drained from the nonstop rush, began tidying the store. In the end, the sale turned out to be a tremendous success, proving once again just how powerful the appeal of a good bargain can be.
技巧說明（5）
這是一個非限定關係子句（non-defining relative clause），用逗號將「which had been waiting outside since dawn」插入主詞與動詞之間，補充說明人龍等待的背景資訊。文法規則上，which 代替前面的先行詞 a long line of eager shoppers，子句內用過去完成進行式 had been waiting 表示「在玻璃門打開之前就已經持續等待」的動作，強調時間先後順序。比起寫成兩個簡單句「A long line of shoppers was waiting outside. The doors opened and they surged forward.」，用插入子句可以把次要資訊濃縮進主句，讓句子更緊湊、更有層次感，是學測作文中很容易拿高分的技巧。學生可以在描述人物背景時套用此句型，例如：「The old man, who had been sitting there for hours, finally stood up.」
這是分詞構句（participial phrase），由「People were pushing and squeezing past one another, and they dashed toward the entrance...」簡化而來，將兩個同時發生的動作合併，前面的分詞片語說明伴隨的動作狀態，主句則是主要動作。文法上要注意分詞的邏輯主詞必須與主句主詞一致（此處都是 people），且用現在分詞 Pushing/squeezing 表示主動進行的動作。這樣寫比起兩個並列句更簡潔流暢，也更能呈現畫面的動態感與急迫感，是閱卷老師會特別留意的進階句型。此外句尾使用 as if 假設語氣（as if their lives depended on...）表示誇飾的比喻，進一步加強戲劇效果。學生可以套用於描述動作同時發生的情境，例如：「Laughing loudly, the children ran across the playground.」
此處是插入句中的分詞構句，doing their best to keep up with the crowd 修飾主詞 salespeople，說明他們當下的狀態或努力的背景，作用類似附加說明子句（= who were doing their best...）。這種「主詞 + 分詞片語（插入於逗號之間）+ 動詞」的結構能讓句子在不增加額外子句連接詞的情況下，同時呈現兩個訊息層次，讓文章讀起來更精煉老練。句尾的 whoever would listen 是複合關係代名詞（whoever）引導的名詞子句，作介系詞 to 的受詞，意思是「任何願意聽的人」，用法道地且自然，能展現字彙與句型的多樣性。學生可以模仿此句型描述人物一邊做某事、一邊努力維持某狀態，例如：「The teacher, trying hard to calm the students, repeated the instructions slowly.」
這是「Not until + 時間/事件」置於句首引發的部分倒裝句，文法規則是當否定意味的副詞片語（如 Not until）放在句首時，主詞與助動詞必須倒裝，即「did the chaos die down」而非「the chaos did die down」。這種倒裝句在學測作文中屬於進階句型，能讓文章語氣更強烈、更具文學性，也能明確表達「直到…才…」的強調語氣，比起平鋪直敘的「The chaos didn't die down until closing time.」更能吸引閱卷老師的目光，展現學生對英文句構的掌握度。學生可以在強調某件事發生得很晚、或某狀態持續很久才改變時套用，例如：「Not until the teacher raised her voice did the students stop talking.」
此句使用了過去完成式的被動語態關係子句（that had been fully stocked）搭配主句的簡單過去被動（were quickly emptied），精確呈現時間先後對比：貨架「先前曾被補滿」而「之後很快被清空」。動詞選擇上，stocked（補貨、陳列商品）與 emptied（清空）都是比 full/empty 這類形容詞更精準、更具動態感的用字，能展現字彙的精確度與多樣性，而非只用簡單的 be 動詞加形容詞。這種「過去完成式子句 + 過去簡單式主句」的時態對比寫法，很適合用來描述事件發展前後的變化，學生可以套用在任何需要呈現「前後對比」的敘述中，例如：「The seats that had been empty all morning were suddenly filled with students.」
範文由 WriteUp 依學測評分規準產生，供練習參考，不是大考中心公布的佳作。