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這一題的頂標範文與寫作技巧建議先自己寫完、送出批改,再打開對照。打開看範文 ▾收起 ▴
頂標範文與技術分析
這是同一題的頂標等級範文,標色的地方是值得學起來的進階文法句型或用字。
In the first picture, two families are enjoying a sunny afternoon stroll in the park. One man and one woman are each carrying a small dog in their arms, while chatting with another couple. The woman in that couple pushes a pet stroller carrying two dogs, and the man pulls a small wagon in which a little boy and a little girl sit happily. Interestingly, the second picture presents a striking contrast: in one photo, a mother feeds a baby with a bottle while a father helps a little boy with his drawing, with a toy car and a bowl of food placed on the table nearby. In the other photo, however, the same couple is shown feeding a spoonful of food to a small dog and smiling at a Shiba Inu dressed in clothes, surrounded by several dishes of food and fruit. Clearly, pets nowadays are being treated almost exactly like children. Such a phenomenon, in my opinion, stems mainly from changing family structures and attitudes toward companionship. As more people choose to remain single or have fewer children, pets have gradually come to fill the emotional gap once occupied by children, offering comfort and a sense of responsibility. Not until I adopted a cat myself did I realize how deeply attached one can become to an animal, treating it as a genuine family member rather than a mere possession. Should this trend continue, it is likely that the pet-related industry—ranging from pet food to pet clothing—will keep expanding rapidly. At the same time, society may need to reconsider how it defines "family," since pets are increasingly regarded not as accessories but as beloved members deserving the same care and attention as human children.
技巧說明(5)
文法規則:當主要子句與從屬子句主詞相同時,可以把連接詞保留、主詞省略,並把動詞改成現在分詞,形成「連接詞 + Ving」的分詞構句,用來簡化句子、避免重複主詞。這裡原本可以寫成 while they are chatting with another couple,但用分詞構句後句子更精簡流暢,也顯示出寫作者能靈活轉換句型,是閱卷老師眼中「句構多樣化」的加分點。學生可以在描述圖片中同時發生的動作時套用這個句型,例如:She walked into the room, smiling at everyone(她走進房間,對大家微笑),把兩個動作用分詞自然連結,取代死板的 and she smiled。
文法規則:「with + 受詞 + 分詞/形容詞/介系詞片語」是用來補充說明背景細節或伴隨狀態的進階句型,受詞後面接過去分詞(因為玩具車和食物是「被放置」,為被動關係)。這個句型比起另外寫一個完整句子(There was a toy car and a bowl of food on the table)更能把次要訊息自然地「掛」在主要句子後面,使文章讀起來更緊湊、有層次,是看圖作文中描述背景物品時非常實用的句型。學生可以套用在任何需要補充畫面細節的地方,例如:He stood by the window, with his dog sitting quietly beside him(他站在窗邊,狗安靜地坐在他旁邊)。
文法規則:當否定副詞片語(如 Not until, Never, Seldom, Little 等)置於句首時,後面的主要子句必須採用「助動詞/be動詞 + 主詞」的倒裝語序,這裡用 Not until... did I realize 就是典型例子。比起平鋪直敘的 I did not realize how deeply attached one can become to an animal until I adopted a cat myself,倒裝句把強調的重點(「直到...才」)提前,語氣更強烈、句型也更進階,是學測作文中展現文法掌握度的經典技巧之一。學生可以在想強調「直到某個經驗才明白某事」時套用,例如:Not until I failed the exam did I understand the importance of hard work(直到我考試失敗,我才了解努力的重要性)。
文法規則:在條件句中,若 if 子句含有 should(表示可能性較低的未來假設),可以省略 if 並將 should 提到主詞前面,形成倒裝的假設語氣句型,等同於 If this trend should continue。這種寫法比單純寫 If this trend continues 更正式、更有書面語的質感,常見於學測高分作文中用來推測未來可能的影響或結果,展現對虛擬語氣的掌握。學生在第二段談「可能影響」時非常適合套用這個句型,例如:Should more people adopt this habit, the environment would benefit greatly(如果更多人採取這個習慣,環境將會大大受益)。
用字技巧:這裡用 fill the emotional gap(填補情感空缺)搭配 once occupied by children(過去曾被孩子占據)這種精準且具畫面感的詞彙組合,取代籠統的說法如 pets become important to people,能更具體地傳達「寵物取代孩子角色」這個現象背後的情感意涵,也展現字彙的精準度與深度,是閱卷老師評分「用字豐富度」時特別看重的地方。學生可以學習這種「抽象概念具象化」的寫法,例如談論手機成癮時可以寫 smartphones have come to fill the silence that used to belong to face-to-face conversation,讓論述更有文采與說服力。
範文由 WriteUp 依學測評分規準產生,供練習參考,不是大考中心公布的佳作。

